Christmas Blog: Keeping The Love Over The Christmas Holidays

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Handle Stress over the holidays

Keeping The Love Over The Christmas Holidays

It’s a beautiful gift to be married to the love of your life.  In order for the love to stay, it must be nurtured, or it can take wings and fly away.  Unless you’re conscious about making each other your top priority, you can easily get pulled into the demands of work, family and friends.

The Christmas season, meant to be about peace, love and joy, can take an even greater toll on your relationship as you struggle to meet the demands and expectations placed on you.  Unless you’re deliberate about how you’re going to spend the season, you’re at risk for feeling frazzled, anxious, resentful and disconnected by the time it’s over.  Below are my top ten tips for carving out time to stay connected during the holidays.  

  1.  Create A Christmas Holiday Vision Together.  Talk about how you want to feel- connected, loving, joyful and relaxed -and find ways to create it.  Share the traditions that are most important to you and honour each other’s wishes.   
  2. Do It Your Way.  Friends and family will have expectations of you- be ok with being disapproved of and stick together as a team.  
  1. Eliminate Unnecessary Tasks:   Review your to do list and be willing to remove some of the items that are no longer necessary or enjoyable.  Perhaps participating in the yearly cookie bake-off was one of your traditions, but now you’d rather be roasting chestnuts on the open fire.  
  1. Decline Invitations. Schedule appointments with your partner on your calendar and stick to it.  With limited time and energy and lots of extra tasks, you need time just to hang out and breathe.
  1. Be Partners Then Parents.  Parents, remember to put each other first and show your children through your actions that you love and respect each other.   That’s truly the best thing you can do for them.  Take time to connect, even if it’s just for a little while after the kids go to bed.
  1. Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations Trying to live up to Martha Stewart is a recipe for frustration and anxiety and puts you at risk of behaving like a sergeant major.  Do you really need to have a spotless house, the best and most thoughtful gifts, matching dishes and silverware?  People are visiting you for you, not for your home.  You want the energy in your home to be joyful and uplifting.  
  1. Take Time For Self-Care.  Whether it’s going for a walk, or to the gym, or meditation, maintain your routine in order to rejuvenate yourself and be at your best.   This is especially important if you are travelling, or doing a lot of hosting and having people stay over at your home.  
  1. Be An Appreciator.  Show your partner through your words and deeds that you love your partner and that they are the most important person in your life.  Feeling loved and respected are far more important than any gift.  
  2.  Stay In Touch– Do a 10 second hug every time you meet and every time you part.  Neuroscience tells us that simply holding each other reconnects us and washes away feelings of distance that can easily come up.
  3. Lighten Up!  Have fun together.  Be playful. Have some laughs, watch some fun movies, do silly things together.  When you look back on the holidays, you’ll have fond memories.

Listen to my audio series. It will help you de-stress during the holidays and learn how to communicate better.


Marriage and Emotional Fitness

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What does emotional fitness have to do with relationships and happiness?

In his 35 years of researching  married couples Dr. John Gottman discovered that couples who are emotionally fit have the most successful marriages.  When we are emotionally fit, we’re able to bounce back quickly from setbacks, take responsibility for our behaviour and work cooperatively with our partner.   In this call, we discuss in detail what emotional fitness is and how it can be learned and practiced.  See emotional fitness coaching under the services tab for more info.


Loving Yourself Is The Key To Feeling Good!

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loving yourself

In this audio, Maeve and I talk about the benefits of loving yourself.  Most importantly, we feel good when we love and appreciate ourselves.  We may want the love and approval of others, but we don’t need it in order to feel good.  Many people have difficulty with the idea of loving themselves.  Listen in and discover how you can feel good now, regardless of what’s going on in your life.


Keeping That Loving Feeling!!

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Once  the newness of a relationship fades, married couples sometimes become alarmed and wonder if they made the wrong choice.   They start noticing their differences, and the things they don’t like about each other.   If this sounds like you, I have  good news – what you’re experiencing is normal.  It’s simply part of the transition from dating to building a life together.  When the relationship is new, the chemicals swirling around in our bodies increase our energy, focus and stamina, and so our courting behaviours are pretty much effortless.  Once those chemicals ease up, it takes more effort on our part to keep the sizzle going. (more…)


Love, Love, Love!

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Hello and welcome to my inaugural blog! Keep an eye on this space, as I’ll be sharing weekly updates on mindful love and romance, with a special focus on newly engaged and newlywed couples.

New love can make you feel lighter than air, like you’re floating on a cloud. This aptly named ‘romance phase’ is amazing! There’s really nothing quite like being adored and treated like you are number one. (more…)