Do You celebrate Valentine's Day

What Do YOU Think About Valentine’s Day?

Posted on Posted in love, Uncategorized

What do YOU think about Valentine’s Day?

I asked a few local ladies and gents between 25-85 what they thought about Valentine’s Day and this is what they had to say:

A single man in his 30’s: ‘It’s a nice gesture, a nice reminder to celebrate each other.’

A married man in his late 50’s: ‘It’s really for the woman….I think it’s a woman’s holiday.  In all my years I do not recall ever talking to a friend or a group of guys about what they were going to do for Valentines Day or what they were hoping to get.’   ‘It’s an expectation for a woman and a responsibility for a man.’ ‘No woman has ever been in the dog house for forgetting Valentine’s Day.’

A 26 year old man in a committed relationship g said that he and his girlfriend don’t celebrate it.  He explained that he and his partner live together and spend almost all of their free time together.  They have the same friends and go to the same parties and events together,  plus they  go out on dates regularly,  so neither feels the need to do anything special on Valentines Day.    ‘If it was important to her, I definitely would do something special’ he added.   Interestingly, when he told a male acquaintance that he wasn’t doing anything for Valentine’s Day, he responded  ‘wow, how do you get away with that?’

A man in his 80’s said he didn’t like the idea of having to do something out of obligation. It kind of rubbed him the wrong way.  He preferred that it be something that he chose to do rather than it being proscribed.

A 60 year old man in a long time relationship scoffed at it saying that Valentine’s Day  was a capitalist notion that has gotten way out of hand and he thought that loving thoughts and experiences could be had throughout the year.  He said, ‘wait till the day after, and then go to dinner and buy flowers.  It’s so much cheaper!  His partner wryly remarked, ‘yeah that’s IF those things are going on throughout the year.’  OOPS!

Two 20 something ladies in committed relationships said that they  used to watch shows from the 90’s where the women were portrayed as demanding, and if they didn’t  get a gift on Valentine’s Day, they would be furious.  Both said that it’s just not like that in this day and age.  

A thirty something married Mom said, ‘We don’t do that… we don’t even really think about it…it is a commercial creation….my age and the younger ones don’t even go there.’

I think the young man said it best.  If you truly are showing love and affection and building in time for each other throughout the year, then you don’t need that special day.  But if your partner indicates that it’s important to them, then do it.  Being a great partner means being the expert at meeting your partner’s needs.  If that’s what would knock their socks off, then why not do it!

What do YOU think?

Handle Stress over the holidays

Christmas Blog: Keeping The Love Over The Christmas Holidays

Posted on Posted in Emotions, love, Uncategorized

Keeping The Love Over The Christmas Holidays

It’s a beautiful gift to be married to the love of your life.  In order for the love to stay, it must be nurtured, or it can take wings and fly away.  Unless you’re conscious about making each other your top priority, you can easily get pulled into the demands of work, family and friends.

The Christmas season, meant to be about peace, love and joy, can take an even greater toll on your relationship as you struggle to meet the demands and expectations placed on you.  Unless you’re deliberate about how you’re going to spend the season, you’re at risk for feeling frazzled, anxious, resentful and disconnected by the time it’s over.  Below are my top ten tips for carving out time to stay connected during the holidays.  

  1.  Create A Christmas Holiday Vision Together.  Talk about how you want to feel- connected, loving, joyful and relaxed -and find ways to create it.  Share the traditions that are most important to you and honour each other’s wishes.   
  2. Do It Your Way.  Friends and family will have expectations of you- be ok with being disapproved of and stick together as a team.  
  1. Eliminate Unnecessary Tasks:   Review your to do list and be willing to remove some of the items that are no longer necessary or enjoyable.  Perhaps participating in the yearly cookie bake-off was one of your traditions, but now you’d rather be roasting chestnuts on the open fire.  
  1. Decline Invitations. Schedule appointments with your partner on your calendar and stick to it.  With limited time and energy and lots of extra tasks, you need time just to hang out and breathe.
  1. Be Partners Then Parents.  Parents, remember to put each other first and show your children through your actions that you love and respect each other.   That’s truly the best thing you can do for them.  Take time to connect, even if it’s just for a little while after the kids go to bed.
  1. Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations Trying to live up to Martha Stewart is a recipe for frustration and anxiety and puts you at risk of behaving like a sergeant major.  Do you really need to have a spotless house, the best and most thoughtful gifts, matching dishes and silverware?  People are visiting you for you, not for your home.  You want the energy in your home to be joyful and uplifting.  
  1. Take Time For Self-Care.  Whether it’s going for a walk, or to the gym, or meditation, maintain your routine in order to rejuvenate yourself and be at your best.   This is especially important if you are travelling, or doing a lot of hosting and having people stay over at your home.  
  1. Be An Appreciator.  Show your partner through your words and deeds that you love your partner and that they are the most important person in your life.  Feeling loved and respected are far more important than any gift.  
  2.  Stay In Touch– Do a 10 second hug every time you meet and every time you part.  Neuroscience tells us that simply holding each other reconnects us and washes away feelings of distance that can easily come up.
  3. Lighten Up!  Have fun together.  Be playful. Have some laughs, watch some fun movies, do silly things together.  When you look back on the holidays, you’ll have fond memories.

Listen to my audio series. It will help you de-stress during the holidays and learn how to communicate better.

Planning Your Dream Marriage-Trenton Wedding Show

Posted on Posted in engaged, Events, love, Marriage Preparation, Uncategorized

What does marriage planning have to do with a wedding show? Everything!  In my talk about creating your dream Marriage, I shared that all couples go through predictable phases.   Those who are successful understand that appreciating one another rather than getting stuck in unmet fantasy expectations is the key to having a lasting loving relationship. Attendees received my couples relationship questionnaire and the opportunity to have a free follow up consultation with me to discuss their current issues as well as how to co-create their marriage together!   Brides received my limited edition ‘What I Love About You’ partner appreciation journal as well.  For those who didn’t attend, check out the  Wide Awake Marriage tab on the home page for my audio series created to help you create the relationship of your dreams!

Your Dream Marriage
Planning Your Dream Marriage
marriage prep
Brides to Be and their entourages
Sharing How To Have your Dream Relationship!
Sharing How To Have your Dream Relationship!
Marriage Planning At Wedding Show
Sharing marriage planning resources with Brides To Be
Marriage Planning at Wedding Show
Mother and Daughter Brides-To-Be!
Marriage Planning at Trenton Wedding Show
Trenton Wedding Show