The Valentine’s Day Solution

Alone on Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day can be a challenge- for all kinds of reasons.  If you are single, you’re apt to feel left out.  There’s a tendency to think that all couples are having a dandy old time…although that’s often not the case!  If you’re in a new relationship, there may be anxiety- wondering whether to buy a gift or not.  If you’re expecting something on Valentine’s Day and don’t get anything, that can be a letdown.  Guys especially may feel the obligation to do something romantic even if they don’t feel like it, and no one wants to receive a gift that doesn’t come from the heart.   If your relationship is on the rocks, trying to manufacture emotions isn’t going to work.

What to do?

If you’re a couple, and want something special from your partner on Valentine’s Day  don’t expect them to read your mind.  Tell them that receiving a gift or having a celebration on Valentine’s Day means a lot to you and you would really appreciate it.  Explain what it would mean to you.   Maybe you want a simple gesture, a flower, a poem,  a homemade card or meal, or some bling and dinner out.  Ask for it… and see what happens.

This is about sharing your desires, not demanding that they be fulfilled.    Don’t hint, rather spell out what you’d like.  If your partner doesn’t take the hint, accept it.  Don’t get into ‘stinking thinking’ and make interpretations about what it says about you that they aren’t getting on board.    Instead, if you want something special to happen why not surprise your partner and create the Valentine’s event yourself?    

An Alternative: If that doesn’t work out or if you are single, why not be your own Valentine by turning Valentine’s Day into  ‘I Love Me Day!’  Rather than waiting on someone else to fulfill your wishes, or pine about not having a partner, you can create your own special day.

True freedom comes when you can shine the spotlight on yourself without having to wait for someone else to do it for you.  Does it feel wonderful when someone else does it?… YES for sure…but when you are able to do it, then you don’t need it…you’d like it, you want it, it’s icing on the cake, but if you don’t get it, you aren’t crushed.

Most people are lacking in the self- love, self-appreciation department, so this is the perfect solution.  If you’re single, you can avoid the feeling  that you’re missing out, and if you have a partner that isn’t romantic, you no longer have to feel disappointed or angry or sad that they aren’t into it.

It’s the least selfish thing you can do because when you take the time to nurture, cherish, adore yourself and appreciate yourself, you feel so much better and don’t  feel deprived.  If that sounds lame, it’s because you aren’t used to doing nice things for yourself, and because you don’t feel worthy.  With practice, it’s something you can get used to.  

One way to feel more loving and appreciative of yourself is to create an appreciation journal for yourself and write in all the things you like and love about yourself, your characteristics, things you’ve accomplished, anything that makes you feel good.  Write as much as you can and when you read it, get into the feelings those messages bring up.  Add to it everyday and read it everyday.

Over time your love and appreciation of yourself will grow, and giving yourself an ‘ I Love Me Day!’ will be something  you look forward to.